The DJ without any music

I was out with some friends the other week when I met a DJ. This topic came up as we were talking about one of my favorite spots to frequent called Smartbar - a club in Chicago where there's usually good house music, a good crowd, and plenty of Dancing.

He told me that he used to play there, but that it was back in the 80s back when he was playing "the real music, not any of this new crap."

I wasn't sure if by new he meant in the last year, or the last decade and we kept chatting. I told him how I started going there pretty often back in about 2002 but that lately I had only made it over there a few times per year.

It became clear that "new" basically meant anything after about 1991. But, he seemed like a pretty interesting guy and had some good stories and I enjoyed chatting with him for the most part. It also happened that some neighbors and I had been talking about throwing a party and I asked him if he still spun every now and then.

He did, and said that he did either private events at clubs, or private parties. Sweet, I though to myself, and then asked if he had a website where I could listen to some of his music. The short answer was no. The long answer was "no", with a slew of excuses as to why the answer was no.

So here I was, talking to a DJ that assured me that he "had every kind of music anyone could want", with no way for me to listen to any of it.

So from my perspective, he had no music.

It didn't matter that he had thousands of records in his home because there was no way for me to see if I liked the way he combined songs, mixed beats, or built up the energy of a crowd as a set went on. He had everything, but in this case it was the same as having nothing.

The theme with everything we talked about though was that basically he thought it sucked that anything changed. The music changed, the club changed, the crowd changed, the technology changed. But the DJ stayed the same. And so, all these changes were bad because the would have forced him to change.

The lesson though is that I think there are a lot of music less DJs out there. There are writers without blogs, programmers without github projects, photographers without websites, and millions of ideas that were never turned into something real. And the unfortunate reality is that a lot of this is simply because some people don't want to change.

Ask yourself, what's your music? Can anyone listen to it?

Better than Money

How much would you sell your friends for?

This, of course, is a silly question. Your friends are priceless, and no amount of money could replace them.

Considering how valuable they are though, it seems noteworthy how rarely people write about their friends. Visit any number of blogs and you're sure to find people talking about how networking helped them land some new business, how twitter helped them sell their product, and how having a blog allows them to talk to their fans. But it seems everyone's talking about these benefits in relation to how it helped them make money.

It's entirely possible this is because I primarily read technology, small business, economics and politics blogs, but I suspect that there's a pretty big disparity across most any topic. So, for something a little different and for some Friday afternoon warm-fuzziness, I'm going to tell you about a new friend I made this year.

A few months ago I went to a Chicago Tech Meetup to hear a few speakers, meet some people, and do a little networking. One of the things I'm not really good at by the way is networking. I don't like it and it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable. My friends are always surprised by this because I'm very outgoing, but the thing is that it's somewhat hard for me to strike up conversations with people I've never met before. I usually need more context.

At this event though I met a guy named Ryan who owns his own small marketing business called Rand Media Group, and we hit it off pretty well. Afterwards we exchanged some emails, hung out a few times, chatted about the upcoming arrival of his twins, talked about my kids, and became friends.

And now, we share an office in the middle of Wicker Park which is about a 5 minute scooter ride from where I live. It's the best commute in the world, and the best working environment I've ever had. On top of this, I've been thinking about one of the Thirty Day Project people I met named Simon Fowler who wrote for 30 days about relational proximity. In it he writes:

The foundation of human flourishing is relationship. Ultimately, the foundation is love, but love is predicated on relationship. We flourish to the degree we are connected, or rather, proximate. “We” can be individuals, groups, institutions or countries, but the factors that enable good relationships are the same.

There are at least five factors that strongly determine Relational Proximity:
1. Directness – the degree to which the relationship is unmediated and truthful
2. Continuity – the degree to which it has a history, the parties meet regularly, and it has an expected future
3. Multiplexity – the degree to which the parties know each other through different contexts
4. Parity – the degree to which there is a symmetry in power
5. Commonality/Purpose – the degree to which they share a sense of common purpose or identity

It’s important to recognize that you can have all of these and be devoid of love or commitment. But try love and commitment without them. The model seems to have enormous unsentimental explanatory power for the health or ill-health of a relationship.

As it turns out, almost by complete accident, I now have a relationship that hits all the right notes for relational proximity, and as a result, I've made a great new friend.

And then, there's the realization that if I could go back in time and instead of meeting Ryan, I could meet someone that gave me a million dollar contract, I'd turn down that deal in a heartbeat. It makes that one little meeting seem pretty powerful doesn't it?

My point in all this is two-fold. First, if you're uncomfortable doing something - whatever - do it anyway because there's bound to be at least something good that comes from it, even if you never expected it. My other point is that no matter what business you're in, I think it's good to enjoy the things you're doing just for the sake of doing them. (Another theme from some of the books I've been reading)

Sure, it's great if your networking or blogging or tweeting or anything else leads to a sale or a new customer. But I think it's also important to remember that the money is only one of many good things that can come of this. Likewise, if you're only focused on the money, you might be closing yourself off to other things that might make your whole world better.

So next time you're down about not closing the deal, or getting the new customer, or not having enough subscribers to your blog, find the value that you did get out of that thing you did.

My guess is, there's at least one thing you'll find that's better than money.

You control your calendar

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in business is letting other people control the flow of their day. What usually happens is numerous managers, product owners, project managers, vendors, employees, and executives can unknowingly destroy someones day, and thereby the work that they intended to do.

They don't mean to of course. They just set up a meeting to discuss a few things with a few people, and very likely these are things that do indeed need to be sorted out. The problem is, if you don't control your calendar, everyone else will.

And when other people control your calendar you're very likely not going to be nearly as productive, or effective, as if you controlled it. So while it may seem difficult to decline that meeting, or tell a vendor that you're not available at a certain time, you're actually doing a huge favor to whoever is paying you (whether it's a customer or your employer) if you take special care to control your day.

Likewise, this extends beyond days and into weeks and months. If you're a sales person that travels often, are you really going to give a great presentation if you haven't seen your family for two weeks? I don't think so.

Everyone has certain periods of the day where they're likely to be very productive, and other parts of the day where they're more likely to be checking email, reading blogs, chatting with co-workers, or whatever else we do with our time. And we're all different.

The key is to identify which parts of your day shouldn't be touched by other people.

If you're really productive in the morning, or if you're not a morning person at all and you function better by sleeping until 9, then it's very important that you're not interrupted at 8am. Same holds true if you're most productive right after lunch.

Most people don't ever say no though because they're afraid that they're going to upset someone. In reality, if you tell someone you can't meet at a certain time, they'll most likely just say "okay" and reschedule, or better yet they'll just say that they'll cover for you and bring you up to speed later.

And any meeting where you can be brought up to speed later is a meeting you never needed to attend in the first place. Another key thing to realize is that people are not trying to ruin your day, or interrupt you too much, or steal too much of your time. They're simply trying to include you. Tell them you don't think you need to be included and they probably aren't going to mind.

Control your calendar, control your day, control your productivity. Lose control of your calendar and you lose control of your very self; and no one can function that way effectively.

Yes, no, or not yes?

A little while back I wrote a review about Linchpin, and I've been thinking about this book and the message it contains a bit more lately. One of the central themes is about taking initiative, not asking for permission to do things, and doing incredible and remarkable work.

I've noticed something lately that ties into this whole theme and it's around when ideas are kicked around and shared on a team. I've realized that the most common feedback you'll get sometimes is "not yes". It's not no and it's not yes. It's just "not yes".

It sounds confusing at first - but really it makes a lot of sense. Because if someone says either "yes" or "no" to you - they've just put themselves on the hook. Or more accurately, you have put them on the hook. If you fail, now it's not your fault, it's the fault of the person that gave you permission - or told you not to do something. This too is a theme in Linchpin where Seth Godin writes that very rarely do people actually say No.

It's interesting because if you start looking for this not yes "answer", you'll probably find that you get it all the time. And while at first this may frustrate you, it's actually a huge opportunity. Because what "not yes" really means is "Do whatever you want - but own it."

That's a great answer because then you can do your great creative work, make something happen, and do something amazing.

There's another opportunity here too though and it's when you're giving feedback instead of seeking it. If you think someone else has a great idea - say YES! - and own it with them. Help them make it real, help them implement it, and help them be successful. The world we live in today is amazing because just two or three people can truly accomplish awesome things. And if your motivation is not to get credit for something - but is instead to help someone implement their great idea, you'll be doing great work, and having a great time while you're doing it.

Likewise, if you think something is a terrible idea, have the courage to stand up and say NO! What if the CEO of an investment bank said NO - we're not doing Credit default swaps? What if a construction worker said NO! - we should't build another McMansion right now - and convinced the owner of the business of that reality? Think they'd be out of a job right now? I don't.

Looking back, none of this is new. People say "not yes" all the time. It's just crystalized in my brain a little more lately; maybe it's because I've been reading a lot of good books such as Linchpin, REWORK, Delivering Happiness, Drive and Flow.

So when you've got a great idea, or a new feature to implement, look for the "not yes" answer. Then, own it and go do something amazing.

Tools Matter

There's a bit of a meme going around about how tools don't matter, which, in my humble opinion, is completely and totally wrong. Or rather, it's incomplete. It should be called "tools dont matter when youre getting started."

The idea behind this "tools don't matter" philosophy is that you shouldn't use not having the right tools as an excuse for not doing something. The argument being - you want to be a photographer? - pick up whatever camera you have and start taking pictures. This, I agree with completely and think it's great advice.

There's a certain point however when tools are in fact critically important. Ask a designer to use a windows machine instead of a Mac and tell them their tool of choice doesn't matter. See how hard they laugh at you.

Could a surgeon slice you open with a steak knife more effectively than I could use a ten blade? Of course. But that doesn't mean she should be performing surgery without the right tools for the job.

Tools, and the ability to make and use them, are in fact a central component in our evolution and are what allowed humans to ultimately rise to the top of the food chain. The ability to create tools is something that only few animals possess, and those that do make more comfortable lives for themselves.

We reach a point in our work where tools not only matter, but that using the right ones has an enormous impact on our productivity which in turn, as I just read in Delivering Happiness, has a real impact on our overall happiness.

If you're the CEO of a 100 person company, and you start using tools that make everyone 10% more productive - that's the same thing as hiring ten more people. Go ahead - tell the business owner that just saved $1 Million in salaries, 401(k) contributions, healthcare expenses and taxes that tools don't matter.

One of the reasons I love working for myself is that I can usually use whatever I please to get a particular job done. I truly feel bad for people when they tell me that they want to use a certain piece of software for their work but aren't able to do so. Because it's akin to telling a chef that they can't use their favorite knives, or a baseball player that they can't use the bat of their choice, or a guitar player that they can't use their favorite strings.

Tools Matter.

So yes, get started on whatever it is that you want to do with whatever you have available to you. At some point though, you will start getting better and you should treat yourself to some new tools.

Because the right tools will definitely help take you to the next level.