"I can't do it"

Really?

You can't?

Are you sure can't is the word you should be using?

I've been thinking about how often people say can't the past couple weeks. It's also discussed in REWORK, which I just finished on Thursday, in the essay titled "four letter words", and then today Seth Godin's post Yes we Can had me thinking about it again.

You'll hear people use the word can't about their work, themselves, and their lives all the time. It's too bad, because understanding that we're almost always making choices, allows you to gain a lot of control over you life while also being a lot happier about the choices you've made. Just as importantly, it helps to keep a clear perspective by recognizing when you truly can't do something.

Any time I'm about to say I can't, I try to find what choice it is that I'm really making. And not necessarily because I think this will allow me to make a better decision, though it sometimes does, but because I just feel trapped if I say I can't do something.

Now, I'm not perfect at this, and the "can'ts" still slip through now and then, but I strive not to say it. Because if I can't do something, then I'm not really free, and that is terrible.

Almost always, the word can't can be replaced with "I choose not to _____ because _____"

You can't fly? Or you choose not to go extreme skydiving because you are afraid it might kill you?

You can't sing? Or you choose not to go to open mic night because you might be embarrassed or people might laugh at you?

You can't speak another language? Or you've chosen not to spend your time learning French?

Some people must feel more comfortable by saying can't - otherwise I suppose we wouldn't hear it said so often. If you can't do something, then you're not responsible are you? If you can't do something, then you don't have to embrace what you can do, which is really just the choice you made. Instead, you can just get mad and blame your situation - but not yourself.

That mindset is just a frustrating trap so I try to avoid it at all costs.

When you recognize the choices you've made, then you can really embrace them and give them your all. This also makes it so you're not bummed out about what you "can't" do.

You can't take a year off of work? Or you want a nice home to live in with a steady job? It's fine if you want that steady job! Just stop saying you can't do something else because that means you're not taking responsibility for, and embracing, the choices you've made.

The other benefit of looking at things this way is that you recognize how important it is to maintain a proper perspective on things.

I can't stop the affect the internet will continue to have on the world (nor would I want to) so I choose to do things differently than I did before. I can't stop my children from growing up, so I choose to embrace the - literal - writing on the wall while they're toddlers. I can't bring back loved ones that I've lost, so I truly embrace the time I do have with my friends and family.

What can't you do?

Are you sure about that?

With this in mind, I wanted to give you an update on the first follower dance party project. If you've been following it - which is best summarized in this fantastic drawing by Simon Fowler, one of people participating in the project - I've decided that I'm going to use it to try my hand at programming.

What? A project manager that wants to try to learn some programming. Yep. As I told the rest of the group in the project space, I feel lately as if my ideas have been imprisoned by my inability to actually make them real on my own. I'm using this project as an excuse to try something I've been putting off for too long.

It would be really easy for me to say I can't develop the website I'm thinking of. Or I can't afford to hire a few people to do this. Or I can't find the time.

Instead.

I don't want to spend the money on hiring a developer, I'd rather try to do it myself. I don't know Ruby on Rails, so I'm going to get tutoring from Jeff Cohen of Purple Workshops so that I can learn it as quickly as possible. This project is a priority, so I'm going to put the necessary time and effort into it.

Can I really develop a web application that's my twist on this idea from Andrew Dubber? We'll find out.

It ships on May 1st.

The brain and the heart are equally vital

There seems to be an ongoing debate in the world of the web and technology around what's more important - design, functionality, usability, etc.

I find this debate odd.

Just last week Ryan Singer of 37signals wrote a post about how different the experience is between visiting an Apple store and a Sprint store. His main point, which I agree with entirely, was essentially that the experience in an Apple store is awesome and at a Sprint store it's pretty terrible.

Here's the thing though - he was there because AT&T's coverage has major issues. He wrote:

AT&T has been bad enough lately that, while I’m not ready to chuck the iPhone, I’m at least growing curious.

No matter how great the user experience is in the store, if the product isn't actually working that poses a pretty significant problem.

You never hear doctors arguing about whether the brain is more important than the heart. Or whether the lungs are more important than the Kidneys. Sure, I suppose in a major accident and something's got to go they know they can't take away the brain. I'm not trying to get in a philosophical debate here.

My point is, everyone agrees that these are all vital organs. They're all critically important, and they all matter a lot. I don't often hear doctors debating about whether it's more important to get oxygen to the blood or whether it's more important to pump the blood. That would be a sort of ridiculous argument.

This is how I feel about web applications. The 37signals products are simple and elegant, but if my data was lost or there was a major security breach, the easy to use UI would cease to matter very quickly. And likewise, without the design they just wouldn't be the products they are today.

Design and functionality are equally vital.

By the way, this is something I'll be keeping in mind as I execute on this idea, from Andrew Dubber. I'll be giving it a little twist, so it's going to be more than just a printout of a numberless calendar. Stay tuned.

The language barrier is crumbling

Google translation has been around for a little while, but I just used it in any sort of extensive fashion recently with this first follower dance party project that's going on. One of the people that joined this still as of now unknown project is a man named Lykle de Vries.

Lykle is involved with some really cool projects such as New Music Labs, which helps musicians maintain and cultivate their fan base. Basically, he helps ensure that his client's art is received. Lykle also has another business that focuses on new business development for a variety of clients.

Here's what's fascinating me right now though; the new music labs site I linked to above is all in Dutch - because Lykle lives in The Netherlands. With the power of Google Translate though, all I had to do was enter the url of his site and I'm taken to it and everything appears in English.

The language barrier is literally crumbling.

Now, for some people, this may not be news. They've seen translate before, and it's not new to them. That's fine, but I've been thinking about this reality the last couple days and I think we're going to witness another one of those monumental shifts - or maybe accelerations - in the kind of content we consume.

It's amazing to me that now, we'll be able to get any web page delivered in pretty much any language we want. And, Google chrome just added translate right into the browser - at least for windows. So if you visit a site in another language, it just asks you if you want to view it in your language.

I'm amazed by this kind of stuff.

So now here's what I'm wondering; how long until we begin copywriting pages towards Google translate? Some things translate better than others, and I wonder if this is the next evolution of copywriting. We'll now not only be trying to capture an audience that speaks in our natural language, but we'll also writing with the Google Translate engine in mind.

How long until this technology is incorporated into Instant Messaging, text messaging, and other forms of communication?

I'm certainly not arguing that this should replace learning another language - but I am suggesting that this will yet again dramatically increase the amount of information we're able to consume, and the audiences we're able to reach online. As a result, it will change the way we create websites and how we write on these websites.

I hope I never get to a point where I'm not completely amazed by the awesomeness of this stuff, and it's more proof that this whole internet thing is just only getting started.

By the way, I've added a little widget in my sidebar so that any visitor to my site can view it in any number of languages.

Hello world indeed.

Determination

© Copyright Cheryl Sterling. All rights reserved.


When I announced that I was going to execute on one of Andrew Dubber's ideas, and subsequently opened up the project space to anyone that would commit to writing one blog post a week about it, I really had no idea what was going to happen.

What's happened is that I'm now working with people I've never met, from multiple countries, and who all bring amazing talents and unique perspectives to this still as of yet unknown project. By joining, they've influenced what kind of idea I'm likely to execute on and have already helped to keep the momentum going.

Cheryl Sterling is one of the people that joined the project, and in addition to making spectacular hand made quilts, she also takes some pretty incredible self portraits. When I was checking out her blog, the photo you see at the top of the post just jumped out at me. I think it's really striking, and complex, and even a little scary.

But one word kept coming to mind when I saw it. Determination.

I asked Cheryl if she'd allow me to post it on my blog as a sort of kick-off to the project, because I'm determined to make good on my promise, and actually ship one of Andrew Dubber's ideas. There was something about it that set the right tone for the start of the project. It's like a visual that's saying: "I'm serious. We're going to do this thing."

The other reason I thought this photo was so great though was because the longer I looked at it, the more gentle it seemed. It's like someone that has their game face on.

So don't be scared, we're just a group people determined to do something fun and have a unique experience. Today's the last chance to get access to my project space. If you've been on the fence, I hope you'll join.

The difference between teaching and coaching

I've been thinking lately about the difference between teaching and coaching, and how by understanding the difference between the two, we can learn more from those who are doing both. Likewise, understanding this difference can also help us properly focus our energy when we are ourselves showing someone how to do something.

Both teaching and coaching are of course helping someone learn a particular skill or sharing a certain piece of knowledge, and both of them are gifts that are given to a student. Teaching however, is primarily a one way interaction. A person that knows something shows you how to do something or tells you some piece of information that they know.

If I write a blog post on how to use Google Apps to set up your company email accounts, I'm teaching you. The only interaction required is that I send this information to you, and you receive it. There, I've taught you something.

Coaching on the other had requires a cyclical, ongoing interaction. In order to coach someone, you need to first teach them something, then observe the student, and then provide feedback again. Unless all three of these interactions are taking place, it cannot be considered coaching.

The biggest difference is that, ultimately, teaching is about the teacher and coaching is about the student.

Think about who your favorite teachers were. I bet you'll find that the thing that made them so great was not just the way they taught you. Most likely, they also watched how you did something and gave you great feedback.

The best teachers aren't just teachers. They're also coaches.

I think about this when I'm reading blog posts. There's a difference in tone in those that are coaching versus those that are teaching. People that teach talk about what they're doing, how they did something, and teach you how you can benefit from some of the same things that they've learned.

People that coach though, their posts seem to be based more on the observation of others, and then giving feedback based on those observations. It's a subtle difference, but an important one.

The other way this difference can be seen is based on how people react when you reach out to them. If you reach out to someone that's taught you something and you don't get a response, it just means that they can't coach you. If someone writes you back though, and gives you a little bit more insight or perspective based on an observation, then that's an entirely different kind of gift.

Coaching, by it's nature, is more scarce. One person can teach a room of 1,000 people how to do something. It's very difficult, if not impossible, for one person to coach 1,000 people because observing those 1,000 people would require an extraordinary amount of effort.

I point these differences out not to say that the teachers aren't doing enough. Again, it's simply impossible to coach as many people as you can teach. Instead, it's important to recognize and truly appreciate when someone takes those extra steps to observe what you've done and gives you feedback. They can't do it for everyone, and it's really important to understand that they've given you something much more rare than teaching.

Likewise, if you're teaching people, think about how you can coach someone now and then. Because when you do, you're taking a moment to invest in the student.

It isn't the point of coaching of course, but in return for doing so, you're likely to earn a true fan for life.